Today was a rough day for me. It shouldn't have been. It was. I interviewed last weekend for a job that I thought looked pretty positive. A 5th grade classroom at a Title 1 school. It was going to be rough, and the opposite of my west Omaha life that I was in now....but I was intrigued and motivated by these students that longed for attention in downtown Wichita. I found out today that I didn't get it. I am very frustrated. I am sad. Confused. I think it's because for my first job I was lucky enough to get it quick. One phone call. One interview. Done. Hired. Elkhorn was my "dream" district, third grade was my "dream" grade. I even graduated in December and got hired in January to start a new classroom in the middle of the year. That doesn't happen often. So now filling out application after application and going to multiple interviews only to be denied is hard on me. Hard on my self-esteem. It sucks, to be honest. I called my mom after school only to start sobbing to her. Of course my dad was working on the yard when I pulled up and the first thing out of my mouth was "I didn't get the job" followed by tears. and more tears...and then my little brother walked in. I didn't want to cry. Didn't need to cry. I just couldn't help it. I wasn't mad. Just confused.
and just as I am writing this my friend Brooke sent me this from the bible study that I couldn't attend tonight: "When it is all said and done, all that God said will be done. He put you here, for such a time as this!" If I could high-five her right now I would. Instead I thought tearing up would be more appropriate. Gesh. Of course it would.